Earlier, as I was driving, I thought to myself: Maybe I should ask if A and B are finally dating. But I also asked myself – why would I bother to ask that question? Would A give me the answer? What is the end game?
Then I realized that asking that question wasn’t going to further my relationship with A and the gains in asking said question were trivial. I started to think more about the relationships that I do keep in my life. While they might not be many, but the ones that I would consider close are meaningful to me.
I’m really terrible with small talk. I can forget things and often times, forget people I’ve only met once or twice. (I’ve even forgotten people who were my Facebook friend!) It’s not to say that I don’t value them as people, but in addition to my poor memory skills, I also wonder if the people I meet are worth furthering a relationship. Will I be a benefit to this person? Will this person be a benefit to me? I don’t mean to say that I judge and place value on each person, but I would much rather have a smaller number of people in my life that I can keep in touch with than trying to juggle a hundred different people. It’s partially for me, but also for the people on the receiving end of this relationship – I want to make our relationship valuable and in order to do so, I need more quality than quantity in my life.
I might not be the best person to keep in touch with and even more so now with my ever-busy schedule, but I hope that to those who are reading, that you all understand that you all have value in my circles.
(This might also explain why I’m holding off on getting another cat – no time to devote!)