Today I had a client who told me a lot about her life and I was in awe of everything that she had gone through, everything that she had survived. I was doing really well in session when she started crying (I tend to cry when people cry). It didn’t hit me until I got home and started thinking more about what I could do for her and I realized how much counter-transference I was holding on to. And I want to cry. I want to cry for her pain, for her losses, but most of all, I want to cry for the strength that she has been carrying all her life. Of the few people I’ve been given the opportunity to work with this year, she is one of the ones who’s really moved me. I know as a clinician, I shouldn’t let this get to me, but I am more than a clinician. I am a social worker. I can’t just separate the feelings aside from the work that I do so easily. I feel and I care and to be honest, I think that’s why I chose the profession I chose. If I wanted to do therapy only, there are other programs, but this one, this one is near and dear to my heart.
I’ve been feeling a little disconnected lately from the work that I’ve been doing, mostly because I haven’t seen some of my clients in a while. But today, today was a really good reminder about why I chose to do what I do.