Push Me

Earlier today, I called someone a pushover and not in the way to tease… sort of… but just as a remark on this person’s character trait. I then started to think of myself and my own history of being a “pushover” and while, to an extent, I still am, I’ve come along way since then.

I used to have a lot of trouble saying “no.” I would feel guilty. I would feel that my personal time and space wasn’t as important as doing a good deed. It could have been due to my wanting to be a people pleaser. No matter the reason, I just had a lot of difficulty to tell someone, “I don’t have the time.” “I don’t think this is a good idea for me to do this.” “I don’t like this restaurant.” “I can wait for you.”

I didn’t hold myself in high regard. I didn’t place value on myself and instead, placed more value on what I could do for other people than what I could do for me. While I am still flexible and can still offer myself to others now, I have been better at setting my own limits, being able to voice when things bother me or have caused me discomfort. While it may take a while for me to get there, eventually, I do.

So people can push me, but be warned that I can now push back.